She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
