i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
