This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize