i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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