why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
