how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
