Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
