Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
