I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
