So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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