I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
