____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
