You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
