I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
