Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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