Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
