What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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