Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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