They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
