hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize