If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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