Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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