I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
