you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
