just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize