There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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