i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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