My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
they need to just BURY HIM!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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