Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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