some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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