Whod you bang
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize