i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
