we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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