Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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