Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
is that a dick in a sweater?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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