the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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