Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
