I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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