he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
