I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
