Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
