Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Randomize
