I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
