I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
