what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
