Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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