Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
