if you like me you must not know who I am
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize