I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
