I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
