If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
