HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I look better un-naked...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
