tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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