Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
