Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
