This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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