So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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