He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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