You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
